No longer mine

I feel empty inside

And a pain as if someone

Was squeezing my heart

Days seem long

Mornings seem meaningless

I hate myself

For having taken the decision

For having putting myself through all this heartache

However then I remind myself

The reason for this

And I know it was the right thing to do

if not for me, then surely for you

I put your life before my love

Today I looked out at the dark night

And related that is exactly how I feel

Dark and empty

A strong desire met me

A desire of wanting to take my life

I feel I have just lost

The only one person

I had waited for all my life

I still have many worthy people in my life

However you were the one who made my day

Now what are the days without you in it

Now what are the nights without you in it

One loss following another

One failure following another

A lone walk

Then I look at my boy

And think that I just have to keep on existing

As I have so often done before

I just have to cos of my god child

You’ll never know how much you meant to me

You will always have a special place in my heart

And it hurts so much to realise that you are no longer mine

The unbearable realisation that tomorrow you will be someone else’s

All dreams crushed

Once again!