My last tear

Think of the time over the years, when was the last time you shed some tears?

Was it a birth of a child or someone who died, when was the last time you openly cried?

Was it floods of many or a single tear, this is my story of what happened to me

In the middle of the night I opened my eyes, then uncontrollably I started to cry

I raised my head of the pillow so wet, painful memories I tried to forget

I was in my house lying all alone, this house I was in is no longer my home

The laughter is gone only tears remain, where once love was is replaced by pain

In the darkness I go down stairs, lying in silence is hard to bare

I put the kettle on for a cup of Milk, I don’t bother with meals as it’s only me

I sit on the sofa cup in hand, how much more can I take before I can no longer stand?

In the silence in the dark, all is so different the dog doesn’t even bark

I think of the past I think what future may bring, I look at the phone hoping it would ring

I look round the room, a belt I see, maybe the world would be better a world without me

Round my neck I pull the belt tight, no willing to life, no willing to fight

In my head, the blood pressure builds, hopefully no long still I will be lying still

I feel the tears rolling down my face, I need to escape my head’s darkest place

loosing the belt I gasp for air, this is all because of one person who obviously didn’t care

For friends and family who love me so, my grip on life I will not let go

The road is long and it will be hard, but if I apply myself I can go far

I think of my children that I would leave behind, but they are always with me in my hearts and mind

From crying in the corner with tears in my eyes, from being so low where I wanted to die

I take a look now to what I’ve been through, I look in the mirror, and see a life of new

The reflection of a broken man I still often see, but I have accepted that he is part of me